Tuesday, October 17, 2006
NEWTON JAKE FORD GOES WILD???
I cannot independently confirm if the following story is true, but I have seen several confirmations from people that it did happen.
The Peskyfly has the full details of the Congressional debate at:
I don't really know Newton Jake. I've only seen him a few times in my life, so I couldn't tell you much about him except that he appears to enjoy violence. The last time the Ninja saw Newton Jake earlier this year, he threatened to whoop four (4) different people in a public place within a 30-minute span. Whether Newton Jake was joking, I do not know. Nevertheless, I hear so many hearsay stories about the guy, I feel as if I know him like other blog celebrities (see also Lindsey Lohan, K.Fed, Paris Hilton, Bobby Brown and Sienna Miller).
If what the Peskyfly said above is indeed true, then I have one request for young Newton Jake. Please get out of the race!
While I enjoy your daily antics, you are doing a terrible disservice to your family, your brother HFJ, your community and yourself. If you lose, do you think anyone in Memphis will ever hire you for a job after this piss-poor performance and lack of qualifications? Your papa will not be able maintain your monthly allowance forever, especially if your actions end up costing Harold, Sr. both seats. In fact, you might have to actually start working at the funeral home where you claim to work.
If you applied for a job this afternoon using a non-Ford name while stating your real qualifications, you definitely would not be called in for an interview. However, someone is blowing smoke (no pun intended) up your cornholio for an anticipated victory on November 7. While I may be wrong (and if I am, I'll eat humble pie), I believe that NASA will put a man on the sun long before you'll be elected to Congress.
Please call up Jerry Lawler and resume your pro wrestling career. While your last rasslin' career was limited to Memphis Wrestling, you could be ready for the big stage. Is Raw scheduled for a Memphis stop before the November 7 election? On last night's WWE Monday Night Raw, John Cena did a finishing move (the F-U) on Kevin Federline on national TV in Los Angeles (see picture above). The crowd loved it and K.Fed was a good sport, because he knew the crowd was going to boo him.
I am quite sure Vince McMahon would get huge ratings if Newton Jake agreed to let Lawler piledrive him on the announcer's table at the Fed Ex Forum.
I can hear Jim Ross commentating it right now, "Dammit King, he's just a kid. This guy's not a wrestler. He's allegedly a Congressional candidate. You can't do this. This isn't right...Not on the table. No! No! My god! King is whooping Jake like a government mule at the Oklahoma U homecoming."
The Memphis crowd would love it! There would be "Fucktard" signs throughout the arena. Newton Jake would be the #1 heel in rasslin'. I know I would watch it with my enhanced ninja goggles.
But seriously, fans of the Space Ninja blog have noticed my criticisms of Congressman Harold Ford, Jr. from time to time. However, I truly feel for HFJ in this situation. HFJ is a man who is caught in the middle, because everyone wants him to do the right thing and endorse the Democratic nominee Sen. Cohen for the 9th District over his unqualified brother. I bet that HFJ is just hoping and praying that his campaign is strong enough to withstand the negativity and loss of votes that Newton Jake's actions will likely cause. If HFJ loses in a close race, then there will be people (myself included) who will blame Newton Jake for HFJ's loss.
Considering the past between these brothers, is it possible that Newton Jake wants HFJ to lose?
On November 7, we'll find out! Stay tuned.